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Sample Touchstone 1.2

English Composition II

December 1, 2021

Working thesis statement: For ethical and environmental reasons, people should limit their beef consumption, and the beef that they do eat should be humanely raised, locally sourced, and

Detailed Outline

1. Working Thesis in Introduction: For ethical and environmental reasons, people should limit their beef consumption, and the beef that they do eat should be humanely raised, locally sourced, and grass-fed.
   1. Hook with description statistics on beef consumption.
   1. Introduce two concerns: humane treatment, environment

Source: Davis and Lin on statistics on beef consumption in the U.S.

1. Ethical Issues
   1. Animals feel pain
   1. CAFOs (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations)
   1. Inhumane treatment of domesticated cattle

Source 1: Grandin and Smith, paragraph 2

Source 2: Pollan on ethical conflicts, paragraphs 32 and 40

1. Environmental Issues
   1. Mono-cropping: feed for cattle and transport
   1. Manure: contamination, transport, ground water
   1. Antibiotics: rise in antibiotic resistant bacteria

Source 1: Lappe on mono-cropping com/soy and production, page 22

Source 2: Sager on manure issues, paragraph 7

                       Source 3: Palmer on antibiotics, paragraph 12                                                                                                                 Comment [SL3]: Good.                                                You                                                         are                                                    indicating                                                       which                                                                                                                                                                           

sources    you          plan         to             use           in             support    of             your        

1. Health Benefits of Grass-Fed   discussion and          highlighting              the           specific    part          of            

the           source      which       will          be            used         here.        This          helps       

A. Higher in vitamins A and E and contains half the saturated fat and more omega-3 you to             find          exactly     what        you              need        when       you          are           writing     your         final         paper.      Well         done.       fatty acids, all of which fight cancer and heart disease B. Cows are healthier, so their meat is healthier to consume.

C. Note that organic is a separate category. Source 1: Ruechel on health benefits, page 235

Source 2: Sager on organic note, paragraphs 10-15

• Environmental Benefits of Grass-Fed Beef Comment [SL4]: Your           argument is              progressing              in             a              very  logical      manner    so             far.           A. Local production is better for the climate
  • Forage is better for the climate than corn/soy
  • Some meat consumption is good for the planet.

Source 1: Lappe on climate change, page 11

Source 2: Pollan on local and diverse, end of article

• Counterargument
  • Rainforest razing in South America – increases carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and depletes the ozone layer
  • Travel distance from S. America & Australia is environmentally negative – depends on fossil fuels

Source 1: Brown and Funk, and Sage, on issues w/grass-fed cattle in the developing world.

Source 2: Pollan (and possibly Lappe) on “season” for beef

Grass-fed is better on both ethical and environmental grounds, but the real answer

• Conclusion A.

is to eat less beef overall.

B. Emphasizing respect for animals solves ethical dilemmas

Source 1: Pollan on eating less and the ethics of being choosy, paragraph 82

Reflection Questions

1) Learning to conduct research is important because it is a skill you will use both in academia and in your professional life. It improves critical thinking and empowers you to find information for yourself. Consider the process of researching as a whole.

What was the most challenging aspect of the process for you? (2-3 sentences) 

Comment [SL5]: Good.            It              is              important to             present    the           counter-arguments   in             order       to establish  a              balanced  perspective              on            the           issue.      

Comment [SL6]: Excellent.       This          summarizes              the           main        points      you          have         made       throughout              your essay        and          ties          the           discussion back         to             your         thesis       statement.

One of the most challenging aspects of researching for me was how much time it took to find all of the different types of sources for this paper. It was also very difficult to assess each source and determine whether the information it provided was credible and useful for my essay. I really thought this would only take an hour or two, but it ended up being a much more involved process. Now I know that if you want to really learn about an issue, it takes more than a quick web search for information!

• The working thesis statement is a proposed answer to your research question. It should clearly identify a debatable topic and take a position on one side of that topic.

Analyze the effectiveness of your working thesis statement.                                        My working thesis statement is one sentence that presents one side of a relevant and debatable argument. In addition, I tried to be as specific as I could. Instead of simply saying “People should not eat beef” I stated that it was for ethical and environmental reasons. I offered an alternative for what should be done if people would not avoid beef completely. I really tried to explain why this issue was important and discuss what could be done to improve the situation.

• A detailed outline is an effective tool for laying out the progression of an argument. It allows you to consider the arrangement and organization of your ideas, as well as choose places to incorporate outside source materials. Review your detailed outline and summarize the argument you’ve presented. 

I start by laying out the ethical issues and inhumane treatment of mass-produced cattle and discuss the environmental concerns of feeding and transporting cattle. I then switch

to discussing the health and environmental benefits of grass-fed, humanely raised beef. The counterargument outlines a few issues that still exist with grass-fed beef and the conclusion reiterates that eating grass-fed beef is better but eating less beef is the more environmentally friendly option. I think that the argument progresses logically in this way and I think that the information I provided in my introduction and conclusion will be very helpful in introducing and summarizing the topic.

4) You will use the same topic on three of the remaining Touchstones in this course. What kind of feedback would be helpful for you? What are specific questions you might have as you go deeper into the research process?

I’m pretty confident in the information I provided, but I would like additional insight into the structure of my essay. I think that my outline is clear, but I am not sure if it will make as much sense to someone who is not as familiar with the topic. I would also like some guidance on my use of formatting. I tried my best to use APA guidelines, but I’m not as

Touchstone 1 Rubric and Feedback
Rubric Category	Feedback	Score (acceptable, needs improvement etc.)
Research Question	Your research question is very precise and represents a relevant and debatable topic.	8/10
Working Thesis	Your working thesis is also very clear and you clearly state which side of the issue you plan to take.	9/10
Detailed Outline	Your outline is clearly labeled and demonstrates the logical progression of your argument. You have provided sufficient notes so that the reader can easily see how you plan to use each source to support the discussion in each section. You also include all of the required components.	14/15
Style	Your tone is consistent and informative.	5/5
Conventions	Your use of English conventions is consistent.	5/5
Reflection	You thoroughly answer all questions and provide insights, observations, and examples in your responses.	5/5
Overall Score and Feedback: 46/50

Sample Touchstone 1.2